


Ankle-Deep

by LinksLipsSinkShips



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: I mean what?, Less porny than you'd think, Link unclogs a drain, M/M, Redditships, so Rhett clogs Link's drain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:42:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21793963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinksLipsSinkShips/pseuds/LinksLipsSinkShips
Summary: When the shower in their shared bathroom gets clogged, Link takes time to investigate. Soon Link discovers what the nasty substance that keeps clogging the drain is, and he has to confront Rhett to prevent it from happening again.
Relationships: Rhett McLaughlin/Link Neal
Comments: 13
Kudos: 67





	Ankle-Deep

Link was ankle-deep in water again. As he rinsed his hair, washing out the conditioner from his short strands, he could feel the water sloshing over his feet. Conditioner, of course, was more of a habit than a necessity. His hair was so short he barely needed the stuff. Still, he used it religiously. Except now, the extra step was more of a problem than a blessing, because he looked at the ground and saw the water soaking his feet and he knew it wouldn’t be nearly as deep if he were out sooner.

Then again, the water wouldn’t have been as deep if...if what, he wasn’t sure. He’d never had this issue at home. As he turned the water off, he watched for it to drain. The water barely trickled out. The drain wasn’t quite clogged completely, but it certainly wasn’t functioning normally. He stood there and studied the drain and the water, the water and the drain, then stepped out of the tub and kept watching the water go down as he dried off. “What the heck?”

He wasn’t sure he had a choice. No one else was going to clean it, and the problem was going to keep getting worse. It had been one thing when he’d lived at home and had his own bathroom. And even at school, the janitor took care of the communal dorm bathrooms. But now? They were in a house. Just the four of them. And the only people who could have been clogging the drain were Link and his best friend Rhett. They were the only ones who used this bathroom. Link was determined to get to the bottom of it. And if the clog were his fault? Whatever, he’d be more mindful.

He wrapped his towel around his waist and headed into the kitchen, rifling around the junk drawer.

“What the hell?” Gregg asked him.

“Drain’s clogged.”

“You couldn’t have put clothes on first?”

“Dude, I just said the drain is clogged. I’m trying to deal with it.” He rolled his eyes and disappeared into the bathroom, kneeling beside the mostly-empty tub and dipping the tip of the screwdriver below the water, unscrewing the drain cover carefully. He pulled it off and reached in. At first, there was a little hair. That seemed normal. He was getting hairier every day. He was ready to remove the hair, cover it back up and apologize. He shoved a finger deeper to get to the bottom of the clog and it squished. _Gross._ He pulled his finger out and looked at it. “Oh gosh. Oh my gosh. What the crap?” he exclaimed, looking at his finger. “Oh gosh.” His cheeks reddened at the sight. There was only one thing he could think this could be and it sure as heck wasn’t hair conditioner. He swiped his finger on his pants and stared at the drain.

The drain sat there. Link almost felt like he expected the drain to handle the situation alone, and it couldn’t. The only option he had was to deal with the stuff himself. That, or talk to Rhett, and there wasn’t a chance in hell he was mentioning this to him.

So, he cleaned it out. He gagged and choked and fought against it to clean the sticky sludge from the drain, blushing the entire time he did it. Link Neal didn’t jack off in the shower. Ever. As a rule, he did it in his room when Rhett was away studying, or hanging out with his girlfriend. He never did it where other people could see, and he sure as shit didn’t do it in the shower.

Someone was jerking off in their shower, though. He knew the substance clogging the drain too well to think it was anything other than what it was. And since only two of them used the shower, finding the culprit wasn’t hard. But Link could never, ever mention it to Rhett without halfway dying over the conversation. How. Freaking. Embarrassing.

* * *

Link wasn’t about to accuse Rhett of jacking off in the shower. Of course he wouldn’t. He considered for a while that maybe he was wrong. Maybe it was conditioner, or shampoo, or whatever else. Or, he had considered that, until Rhett went to shower one night. Link sat outside the door, listening, trying to figure out what part of Rhett’s routine might be clogging the drain.

And then he heard a groan. A tell-tale grunt, really. Of course. Link resisted the urge to gag.

Link had cleaned the drain thoroughly. He knew this. He’d worked his butt off getting the nasty stuff out of the drain. But less than a month later, he was up to his ankles in water again. “Freakin’ seriously?” he griped to himself in the shower. He got the screwdriver and cleaned it out. And two weeks later, the drain was slow again. “How often does this jackass get off in the shower?” he huffed to himself. His embarrassment was fading into anger and annoyance. Rhett was causing this issue again and again, and unless Link told him to stop, he was certain the drain was only going to keep getting clogged. He rolled his eyes, took a deep breath, and left the room, towel around his waist. He got dressed and sat on the edge of his bed.

And then he waited.

In his head, he went over the million ways he could have this conversation. He thought about what he could say or the ways he could handle saying “hey, bo, your jizz keeps clogging the shower drain.” But he couldn’t bring himself to. Not really. Thankfully, Rhett wasn’t home yet and he still had time to work out what he needed to say. He thought it through.

“Rhett, we need to talk—”No, that sounded too much like relationship drama.

“Rhett, seriously, stop jerking off in the—” Gosh no. How awkward.

“Rhett, I think you’re clogging the bathroom drain so can you please not do whatever might be clogging the drain?” That was possible, unless Rhett pressed the issue on how Link knew he was the cause of the problem.

Link sighed and buried his face in his hands. Why was this so hard? He frowned. They talked to each other about everything, but this felt like it was crossing a line. He was still groaning over it when Rhett walked in.

“What’s up?”

Link’s mouth suddenly felt dry. His palms were sweaty as he looked up at Rhett. “Um.”

“Um?”

“Can we chat about something, bo?” Link could feel his heart racing a little bit.

“Sure. What’s... uh, what’s up?”

“Follow me.” Link had an idea. He headed into the bathroom.

“Follow you into the bathroom?”

“Yeah.” Link kneeled next to the tub and started to run water, the tap flowing. The tub was filling quickly. He glanced up at Rhett. “See a problem here?”

“You’re... filling a tub?”

“Yeah. But the drain’s open. So it’s clogged. Again. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but this has been happening a lot lately.” He stared Rhett down. “I’ve been unclogging it, and I’m sick of working on the clogs, because they’re your fault.”

Rhett’s mouth set into a hard line. “How are they my fault? We share this shower!”

“Because, uh.” Link didn’t want to say. “It is. It’s your stuff clogging it.”

“My stuff? In case you haven’t checked, you’re hairier than I am.” Rhett gestured toward him. “Look. Hairy legs, hairy chest, hairy feet, hairy... whatever. I don’t know. You’re practically a yeti and I’m pretty bare, man.” He smirked. Oh gosh, Link couldn’t handle that either.

“It isn’t hair,” Link said.

“Okay, so what was it, then?” Rhett asked, arms crossed over his chest.

“You um, I uh...” Link could feel his cheeks getting hot as he blushed hard, listening to the slow sucking sound as the bathtub drained. “You can’t keep jerking off in the shower.”

Now it was Rhett’s turn to turn bright red. “What?”

“You’re clogging the drain with your uh, your um... your... y’know...” Link paused and whispered, “jizz.”

“H-how do you know it’s mine?” Rhett asked, now pale instead of red.

“I don’t, um. I don’t do that in the shower. And we’re the only ones who use this shower. And I know it’s _that_ because I stuck my finger in the stuff trying to clean the drain out.” Link swallowed heavily, nervous about this entire conversation. Of all the things they talked about, masturbatory habits weren’t a typical discussion.

“So what do you suggest I do?”

“I dunno, do what normal people do and get a rag and do it in the room,” Link said. “Or come in h— I mean, uh. Go to the bathroom, not like... come in here... um. Nevermind, just... go _somewhere_ and do what you need to do and dispose of it in a Kleenex or a sock or a rag, or like, hell, down your girlfriend’s throat or something just _notinthefreakingshower!”_ Link’s voice was high pitched, shrill and frustrated.

“Right, so... find a new place to cum. Got it.” Rhett nodded tensely. “Only some of those are actual options, by the way. I just came home from getting dumped. But thanks, Link. Good talk.” Rhett started to turn and walk away, shoulders now slumped.

“Shoot, really?” Link stood up and grabbed his wrist. “I’m sorry, man. That blows.”

“Yeah, well, I’m just saying, maybe expect the problem to get a lot worse now. Not that we were, uh, we weren’t doing _that_ but y’know, sometimes makeouts could get nice and hot and lead to some... outside the clothes kinda things. Now that I’m flying solo, I expect the drain situation to get worse.”

Link felt awful. Rhett was going through shit and he’d chosen _now_ to have the talk with him, to discuss the drain clog. He nodded. “You could still do it in our room instead of the shower,” Link said.

“Yeah. Whatever.”

“Or, uh, I don’t know. Maybe it doesn’t clog the toilet as much as it does the shower.”

“Cool, Link. Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Rhett sulked away, slamming their bedroom door and leaving Link on the other side of it.

* * *

Link wracked his brain for a solution. Rhett was grumpy as all hell, and Link was pretty sure he knew the reason. Rhett had stopped jacking off. He knew, because Rhett was taking shorter showers and he wasn’t doing it at night, and the drain wasn’t clogged. That, and Rhett was in the worst mood ever.

Eventually, something had to give. “You know, you can still jack off, man,” Link said, looking up from his math textbook.

“Shut the hell up.”

“I’m just saying. You can still do it. Just... not in the shower. You have to find some other option.”

“Like what?” Rhett asked. “The one time I tried to do it in here, you scrambled downstairs for a snack so hard you fell down the last few stairs. And you’re always around, so it’s not like I can do it when you’re not here.”

“Ask for alone time,” Link suggested.

“You’ll know why I’m asking,” Rhett told him.

“Do it in the shower and clean the drain yourself?”

“I’d never do it to your standard.”

“Find a new girlfriend?”

Rhett snorted. “Yeah right. That’ll never happen. I’m useless with chicks now, man. I’ve tried!” Link didn’t know when Rhett might have tried. He had been coming straight back to their room from class ever since his breakup. Trying? Not exactly.

“So get someone else to make you cum. A hookup or whatever.”

“Like friends-with-benefits stuff?”

“Yeah. Like friends-with-benefits stuff.”

“I don’t have _that_ many friends, Link. Just you. A few others, but nobody I could hook up with. No chick friends.”

Link chewed on his lip and thought about this, about the implications Rhett was making there. He licked his lips and looked down at his textbook again, then sighed and closed it. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

“Do what?”

“Deal with your... y’know. Stuff. So it isn’t in the damn drain.” Link gestured at his cock, and Rhett stared him down.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’d rather do literally anything than clean out the damn drain, even if it means you need me to, uh, you know...”

“You’re saying you’d let me clog your pipe instead?” Rhett snorted.

“If you never put it that way again, I’d do it as long as I didn’t have to stick my fingers in that cum drain for the rest of my life.”

* * *

Link’s head bobbed up and down as he took Rhett’s cock deep in his throat. His vision was blurry with tears and he pulled off to wipe off some of the extra saliva that was pooling out of his lips, finding itself dripping down the length of his best friend’s erection. “Good?”

“Yeah,” Rhett mumbled, hand rested on his back.

That’s how they’d gotten here. By jokes that weren’t jokes, and by helping out turning into something Link was enjoying. Not that he wanted Rhett to know that, even if his enjoyment was obvious from how hard he was. He took Rhett deeper, choking on him. “Putting that big mouth to good use, huh?”

“You’re not that big,” Link chastised as he pulled back again.

“Yeah, that’s why you’re gagging.”

“I’m bigger,” Link said. “Longer. Least you could do is know that since I cleaned your drain out for so long.”

“You asking me to suck you off?” Rhett asked. Link went back down on his cock to avoid answering, head bobbing once more as he slurped at the spit and precum, pulling back to tease his tongue around the tip of Rhett’s cock. He was getting better at this. Seven days in and he was way better than he’d been the first day. He figured not long from now and he’d be a damn expert. “Link?” Rhett asked. Link kept sucking. He kept going until Rhett pulled him back. “Are you asking me to suck you off?”

Link shrugged and starting to move back down, but Rhett stopped him, a hand gripping his shoulder.

“I’d do it,” Rhett finally said. “Or, y’know. I could clog another pipe of yours.”

“Would you stop using that damn euphemism?” Link asked, agitated and struggling to get back down on Rhett’s cock and be done with this for the day. Or, done enough that Rhett wouldn’t realize how badly he liked this, craved it, wanted it. If he had known they’d keep doing this, that they’d continue to make this a part of their every day routine, Link might have mentioned the pipes sooner, but now he was trying to hide everything.

“Come on, Link, what do you want from me?”

Link pulled back and blinked up at Rhett, trying to force the tears from his eyes, all from gagging and trying to fit Rhett down his throat. “For you to stop clogging the damn drain, Rhett. That’s all.”

He started to move forward again, but Rhett stopped him again, as if they hadn’t just done this minutes before. “Link, seriously. What do you want?”

Link rolled his eyes. “Whatever gets you to cum somewhere that isn’t our shower.”

Rhett laughed, easing himself to the floor and pinning Link against it. “Yeah? So I can cum anywhere else as long as it’s not the shower?”

“That’s been what I’ve said from the first time we had this discussion,” Link reminded him, heart racing as Rhett got closer and closer to him.

“No place is off limits?”

“The shower is off limits.”

“No place on or in _you_ is off limits?” Rhett husked. Suddenly, they were playing a whole new ball game.

“No place is off limits except the shower. Like I said,” Link teased, biting his lip nervously.

“Good,” Rhett said, and before Link could say anything else, Rhett was already tugging his jeans down and searching for lotion, looking in Link’s eyes as he stroked him and teased a finger at his entrance. Link rasped breath and stared up at him. “Because honestly you suck at hiding what you want, Link.” Somehow, as Rhett pushed into him, kissing him right after for the first time ever, crossing the line between helping out and something more as he breathed, “Thanks Link, you’re really a lifesaver,” Link had a feeling their drains wouldn’t be clogging again for a very long time. Unless Rhett suggested sex in the shower, at which points, all bets might be off.

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd we die like men


End file.
